Gettin' Tipsy

are you here

2005-07-09T00:57:11Z

you know, i thought about all of this. and it just figures. right? life goes well for what, a week? and it's like the biggest sin. and here goes the punishment. the thing i want the most i can brush with my fingertips. but i can't grasp it. and it's the same thing all the time. i just want him. that's it. and it's not like i can't have him, oh i could. i do. except for one minor fucking detail. that fucking fucker that i'm about fucking ready to fucking kill. cuz he's gotta go and fucking screw with every fucking life so he can be the fucking center of fucking attention cuz he's fucking five. fuck you you fucking bastard. notice all the fucking "g's" fucker? that's how fucking pissed i am at you. i will go to no fucking lengths to fucking kill your fucking faggot ass. fuck you.

aw...she's teary eyed

2005-02-14T03:21:26Z

wow. i feel like crying. not happy crying, but not sad crying either. just crying. lol. cuz i def. just went all the way back to june 12 and read most of the entries from then til now. and whoa nelly. there's a lot of stuff in there. i still find it hard ot believe that i loved him so much. and even harder to believe, is that looking back on it, i still know that i loved him, and i know i still love him. (did that make sense? w/e) cuz i mean, things have changed A LOT in the past eight months. it's so hard to believe it's been that long. like, wow! there's like nothing that hasnt' changed. except maybe my friendship w/ ashley and i <3 my job, and you know, stupid stuff like that. but everything else is so different. i dunno. not in a bad way though. so i'm gonna go b/c i'm curious. lol
<3333

gdgdggdgdgdgdgd

2005-02-10T21:33:07Z

god damnit. lj is pissin' me off. i wanna get on squeeze_tighter. and i made a new account. just cuz. and i cant update it or login b/c lj is bein' a bitch. grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
ok so here's what i really should do this weekend:
SENIOR EXIT
(as in til i finish)
and then everything else.
hahaha. i highly doubt it. but i promised myself i'll do it tomorrow. i have to. that's a lot of b.s. to do in a VERY short amount of time. gd, why am i such a slacker?
and dude. i hate ms. smif's kids (i know i spelt that wrong thank you. but that's how jackie says it (not me) so shut up). they get til the 24. gr. no fair.
anywho, i'm gonna peace out now. b/c i'm gonna actually start on maybe...the SECOND pg. hahaha.
♥

grr

2005-02-10T01:26:56Z

ok, so i keep tryin to update my lj. like the CURRENT one. but apparently that server is down "for a few minutes" which apparently means the rest of the time that i plan on spending here. but anywho, i promised pitchers on there. so here.

oh, this one...

and this one are for you. cuz my hair is down. <3 i'm super. (dont you love my fake "i'm pissed but so not really" look?)

and i def. <333 this one. i dont know why tho. it just looks fun. haha.

p.s. if you dont comment on this you suck. and you know who you are. lol. seriously though, COMMENT!!!!

she still says no!

2005-01-31T00:29:38Z

Obituary for Mr. Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common
Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for
sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons
as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable
parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a
six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her
lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do
nothing.

dude, people suck. poor common. i feel bad for him. lol. but really people suck. and the beastie boys are on the radio. i need some more new cds. hm. yeah i do. i want to make them. nice new mixes. but i need my computer. and i need cable internet on that computer. i need need. i keep typing ned by accident. lol. dude. i'm bored again.
theres a work in one of the papa roach songs that def. sounds like "fuckify" but i'm thinkin' it's really "...fuck if i..." but i still like the way fuckify sounds. the end.

some lyrics b/c i can

2005-01-30T03:56:20Z

lol.

papa roach//do or die
Today I saw my hero fall apart
The one who taught me to be strong
On the outside I look fine
But on the inside I am dying

My strength is overcome by pain
My love for you remains the same
The loneliness is setting in
I have no one to free my sins

It's never too late
To live your life
The time is now
It's do or die

It's never too late
To live your life
The time is now
It's yours and mine

Now it's my time to help you out
Cause you were there when I was down
It's hard for me to see you this way
Losing all your sanity

You helped me keep my drams alive
Without you how will I survive
It's time for me to be a man
Now I finally understand

It's never too late
To live your life
The time is now
It's do or die

It's never too late
To live your life
The time is now
It's yours and mine
(2X)

I cant run anymore
I cant hide anymore
I cant run anymore
I cant hide anymore

Today I saw my hero fall apart
The one who taught me to be strong
On the outside I look fine
But on the inside I am dying

It's never too late
To live your life
The time is now
It's do or die

It's never too late
To live your life
The time is now
It's yours and mine
(3X)

I cant run anymore
I cant hide anymore
I cant run anymore
I cant hide anymore

Yeah

uncle kracker//to think i used to love you
You made me laugh some
You made me cy some too
You sent me off to a world of pain
And made me someone new
You made me all kinds of promises
But only some came true
Now I know you need me more than I need you

To think I used to love you
For reasons I don't know
You polished up my halo
And I dirtied up your soul
I sure had a good time
But we both know I can't stay
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway

You know I'm not perfect
And I tried to make you see
Somehow you though of everything
But you didn't think about me
Lies and disappointment
Makes your world go round
It's to late save me so you might as well come down

To think I used to love you
For reasons I don't know
You polished up my halo
And I dirtied up your soul
I sure had a good time
But we both know I can't stay
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway

To think I used to love you
For reasons I don't know
You polished up my halo
And I dirtied up your soul
I sure had a good time
But we both know I can't stay
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway

and here's a real post. i'm fuckin bored out of my mind. i dont feel like doing anything. and i've listened to the papa roach cd all the way through 1.5 times. and thats just sad. on top of the amount of time that i wasnt listening to music. lol. i'm sooooooo bored. and nothing will stop that. maybe i could go sledding down the hill out back in the dark. that'd be fun. but i think it's just wet and rainy. not frozen anymore. grr. and i'm to lazy to get all bundled up. lol. and you know what? i dont want to be a lil kid. i wanna go shopping. OoO, yeah....shopping. i want new pants. and SHOES! and earrings. and omg, i'm so fucking bored i'm making a shopping list. that's not cool. and you know what else i've done to be an uber dork today? i alphabetized my buddy list b/c i got bored of talking to people. and then i played yahoo! bingo. and i won, once. lol. and now i'm updating this lj. an di already updated the other one, my gj, my xanga, and my myspace. AND i redid the layout on gloria's lj (glorius1). omg, i just wanna go out. an di'm finally ungrounded but i'm stuck at home. and i even played with my new picture program from google. and yay. but i got bored fast. and i'mjust so bored. and i wanna talk on the phone with someone but theres no one to call cuz i got nothing to say. imagine that, me with nothing to say. lol. and i wanna watch tv but daddy n ben are watching a movie. and we only have cable in one room. well, 3. but only one with all the channels and a tv and a remote. the others only have bits and pieces of those components. lol. and one is mommy's bedroom and i cant go in there cuz she's sleepin. so god damnit how do i stop being so BORED. i dont know. and i have some energy. but it's kinda fading. :/ i'm gonna go eat something and have some soda. b/c i feel like having soda. ok? ok. peace.
<33 jacki

franz ferdinand yay

2005-01-26T02:19:01Z

Jacqueline was seventeen
Working on a desk
When Ivor
peered above a spectacle
Forgot that he had wrecked a girl
Sometimes these eyes
Forget the face they're peering from
When the face they peer upon
Well you know
that face as I do
And how in the return of the gaze
She can return you the face
That you are staring from

It's always better on holiday
So much better on holiday
That's why we only work when
We need the money

It's always better on holiday
So much better on holiday
That's why we only work when
We need the money

Gregor was down again
Said come on, kick me again
said I'm so drunk
I don't mind if you kill me
Come on you, gutless
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
and how I know it
But for chips and for freedom
I could die

It's always better on holiday
So much better on holiday
That's why we only work when we need the money

It's always better on holiday
So much better on holiday
That's why we only work when we need the money

It's always better on holiday
So much better on holiday
That's why we only work when we need the money

You take your white finger
Slide the nail under
The top and bottom buttons of my blazer
Relax the fraying wool
Slacken ties and I'm
Not to look at you in the shoe
But the eyes
Find the eyes...
Find me and follow me
Through corridors refectories
And files you must follow
Leave this academic factory
Will find me in the matinee
The dark of the matinee
It's better in the matinee
The dark of the matinee is mine
Yes it's mine!

I time every journey
To bump into you accidentally
I charm you and tell you
Of the boys I hate, all the girls I hate
All the words I hate, all the clothes I hate
How I'll never be anything I hate
You smile, mention something that you like
Oh, how you'd have a happy life
If you did the things you like...

Find me and follow me
Through corridors refectories
And files you must follow
Leave this academic factory
Will find me in the matinee
The dark of the matinee
It's better in the matinee
The dark of the matinee is mine
Yes it's mine!

So I'm on BBC2 now
Telling Terry Wogan how I made it and
What I made is unclear now
But his deference is
And his laughter is
My words and smile are so easy now
Yes it's easy now
Yes it's easy now...

Find me and follow me
Through corridors refectories
And files you must follow
Leave this academic factory
Will find me in the matinee
The dark of the matinee
It's better in the matinee
The dark of the matinee

Well, find me and follow me
Through corridors refectories
And files you must follow
Leave this academic factory
Will find me in the matinee
The dark of the matinee
It's better in the matinee
The dark of the matinee is mine
Yes it's mine!

good music. lol.

korn

2005-01-20T02:19:06Z

b/c it wont stop in my head (damn voices) lol.

Hey, I'm feeling tired.
My time, is gone today.
You flirt with suicide.
Sometimes, that's ok.
Do what others say.
I'm here, standing hollow.
Falling away from me.
Falling away from me.
Day, is here fading.
That's when, I would say.
I flirt with suicide.
Sometimes kill the pain.
I can always say.
'It's gonna be better tomorrow'.
Falling away from me.
Falling away from me.

Beating me down.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.
Screaming so sound.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.

(falling away from me).
It's spinning round and round.
(falling away from me).
It's lost and can't be found.
(falling away from me).
It's spinning round and round.
(falling away from me).
Slow it down.

Beating me down.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.
Screaming so sound.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.

Twisting me, they won't go away.
So I pray, go away.

Life's falling away from me.
It's falling away from me.
Life's falling away from me.
Fuck!

Beating me down.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.
Screaming so sound.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.

i've been hearing that song ever since they played the commercial for the miller lite lunch that said you could win the korn greatest hits cd. i was like hm.. korn, i wanna hear falling away from me. and omg they played it. it was funny wierd. but w/e. so yeah, now the raspy voice is repeating in my head and wont go away no matter how much i yell at it. lol.

side note

2004-11-01T23:09:09Z

i confuzzled as always. luis n i have been fairly buddy buddy lately. lol. i mean it's one thing to hold hands and hug. but when he hugs me he doesnt just squeeze me n leave. nope, he holds me (which is nice...). and then he kissed me everyday last week. ok, i know he's not interested in me....b/c he's luis. and i'm really not all that interested in him. which is fine. none of that bothers me. but it makes me feel like ....i dunno. kinda slutty. which is wierd. i mean, i was totally willing to be fuck buddies w/ diego (so it didnt work out, but i still would do it anyway....just b/c i'm in it for the fun. i dont like the emotional-drama shit) and that was ok. but luis....well....it's luis and we will never be together. niether of us really like each other that much. but i'm still letting this happen. its not like we're gonna be fuck buddies. it's not like what we do....tiny kisses and big hugs....MEANS anything, i KNOW it doesnt. but i feel wierd not feeling anything when he hugs me, or kisses me. i feel wierd not liking someone. i know, that's odd. but i feel nothing. no flutter-y ness. no o wow. it'sj ust like yeah w/e peace out. and that just seems wrong. like i'm jaded.i dont wanna be jaded. wtf? i want someone to enjoy myself w/. someone to like. not love. b/c i dont want to break my heart again, i'm over that and i dont want a relationship that serious for a while. i want someone that makes me smile when i'm thinking about them, and someone to make me laugh. just someone fun to mess around w/. to go out w/. dude, i NEVER get what i want. either i dont have anybody, or i mix myself up in a bad relationshipe. cory - ick. dont even wanna think about it. lol. cody - used me....used him. not bad, but not even anything really. diego - yeah, i lovED him, but it's over so w/e. that broke my heart and i'm fine now n all, but i didnt like those two weeks. lol. so overall, it's never really how i want it. i want something to go all my way.
i realized the other day that a lot of stuff that kept me from being happy w/ diego. the stuff no one knows about. is my own fault. i wouldn't open my mouth and complain cuz i didnt want him to get pissy. cuz i dont like pissy diego. but all this stuff that i'd think about after i got off the phone w/ him every night, the stuff that i kept to myself b/c i dont want ppl 2 know that i'm not happy w/ what seems like the one thing that was keepin' me happy, that's the stuff maybe i shoulda mentioned. and i didnt b/c i felt guilty. b/c i felt selfish. but that's ok. cuz when i'm ready i'll find someone new, someone that i PROMISE MYSELF i will open up to no matter what. even if he turns into a big bitch and hangs up on me. lol.

YOUR LOSS!

off_the_map @ 2004-10-02T00:53:00

2004-10-02T04:56:41Z

Jacki got a new livejournal!!!!! squeeze_tighter !!!! if you want to, add it! it's gonna be public, like this, but i decided i need a new name. lol. all y'all that have friends only journals, add me, b/c if i'm still on YOUR friends list it's b/c i said to keep me when you did clean ups, b/c i LOVE your ljs!!!!!! i'm not deleting this, but i'm not gonna update eitehr.....lol

PEACE

welcome to first grade....

2004-10-01T01:59:54Z

i just wish people didnt fuckin' care. ha, i found out y alex asked me n diego how long we've been goin out...some chick that rode the bus w/ us my freshman yr was askin. sayin' shit bout how mean he was n shit. WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS REMIND ME MY BOYFRIEND IS AN ASSHOLE????? do they think i dont' know how evil he used to be to me? b/c you know what...I DONT GIVE A FUCK! two years ago was TWO YEARS AGO. today is today. and today he loves me, and he wants me, and i love him, and i need him. and if people know us then why dont they come up to us and ask us??? wtf? that pisses me off too. like, do you think i'm gonna be mad if your like OMG YOU'RE GOING OUT W/ DIEGO???? b/c guess what!? EVERYBODY says that, and it's always, "uh...yeah." so get over it. i'm sorry but i've been w/ him for over 3 months, i guess i just thought people would be a lil more used to it...ya know? but i guess not.

and another thing. this is directed at a select few people and i'm pretty sure they know who they are:
i do not care if people look at my lj layout and think i'm drinking. b/c i'm not. i will state that right now, I DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. I DO NOT SMOKE ANYTHING. so if you see a bacardi layout, it's b/c i liked the pictures and the idea of a bacardi layout. some people may not approve, but my mom thought it was cool, and i spent forever finding just the right images and resizing 'em n uploading 'em n all that other shit. so i'm not gonna change this until I'M ready. also, the stuff in my lj is here for me. yeah, i know i make it all public and it's on the internet so anyone can read it, and that's great. b/c i dont think it's always the smartest thing to keep every lil thing to yourself. that's how all your emotions build up n then you just explode. and that shit sux. so i make a public journal. this is me. yeah, maybe i dont act like this around people. you dont see the more secret sides of me that i post on here, but that's b/c that stuff is personal. but i put it up here b/c i'm ONLINE. the internet is not a reality, it's a place where you can take off every mask and know one will know. people dont read this and then forever look at me as a different person, b/c this isn't the me they see every day. this is the me that i am when i'm alone. i dont care if the WHOLE WORLD reads my lj, really i dont. but DO NOT critize me for what i'm saying. go ahead, comment...joke, poke fun, or just make me feel better. w/e i need that day. but NEVER tell me that i shouldn't post stuff in MY lj. this is MINE and it will ALWAYS be mine. so what comes from my head n my heart go straight to the keyboard. if you dont approve then you have 2 options: 1. stop reading this or 2. just let it go and realize that just b/c i think about certain things and talk about them on here doesnt mean that it's the reality i'm living in.
i dont know how much sense that made, but i think you'll get the gist of it.

other then that, today was a good day. YAY! i cleaned my room, which is nice. n then diego went 2 open house n dinner w/ my family. the stupid open house thing @ hawk ridge took FOREVER so we went 2 dinner late, so he didnt get to come here. but o well. i dont mind too much, cuz @ least i got to be w/ him. and that's the best part! i'm hoping that somehow i can get out of work really early on sunday so i can go over there, but i dunno. i'm gonna try b/c i'm sure SOMEONE will cover my shift for me....PLEASE? plus they have like 3 nonvolumes, so if it's like a reg sunday, when we only have volumes n one non, then i should be off kinda early *crosses fingers* and then maybe i'll still be able to go 2 diegos. cuz i hate not seein' him all weekend. it SUCKS big time!

<33Jacki

secrets are no fun....

2004-09-29T10:02:02Z

ok, i know diego's gonna read this eventually...but i'm pretty much over it. i mean, what i'm about to say isn't really botherin' me anymore, but i still need to say it.

ok, it KILLS me when someone i love is really pissed off. i mean, it's one thing if it's my mom or dad b/c they're usually just pissed @ me. but when w/e the problem is affects your whole mood, and basically ruins your day....then i feel awful. that's how i felt @ lunch yesterday. and see, for most people i dont feel as bad as i did when it was diego, b/c he won't tell me what's wrong. that's what bugs the crap outta me. i understand that he doesnt want me involved, i respect taht. hell, i dont even WANT to be involved. i just want him to tell me what's going on. it's like when you ask someone that's close to tears "whats wrong" and they say "nothing" DUH! that's a lie, and that's what i feel like diego's doing. sorta...lol. i know the whole thing has nothing to do w/ me, but i still feel like i should at least have a vague idea b/c i'm his mother freakin' girlfriend! lol.

ok, end rant. cuz i'm really not upset about it anymore. i waas just thinkin' bout it last night b/c i hate that he gets a bit pissy w/ me when he's in a overall bad mood. but it's all good. cuz i really dont care anymore....

%$me$%

slip away

2004-09-27T23:19:58Z

i'm in a chill mood today. my whole weekend was calm for once. no work, just friends. the whole lock-in, sleep stuff was nice. got me all rested. then yesterday we went to some art show thing and i got some martini glass wall hanging 4 my room (brought down my room budget again, but i think my momma's havin' issues keepin track of that so no worries). then we went to the bead shop, then grocery store, then i got dropped off @ diego's. it was nice cuz we just chilled. i made him lose his random xbox games! hehe. *oops* lol. but yeah, i love that i can have fun w/ him. like we were lying on the floor in his bedroom n got "mad" at each other n were like fine, n rolled over facing opposite directions. n then he rolled back over n put his arm around me. i love when he does stuff like that. i love the way he holds me. like we could be sittin there makin' out, n then we stop n he just holds me in his arms - i love that b/c that's when i know he loves me.
then i came home n got in trouble 4 grades. o well. then went to bed like super early. and then today went well xcept for and F on another chem test. but i did all my hw n i had all the hw for tomorrow. so it's all good. and this afternoon my parents didnt really yell @ me or anything. how nice. lol. but i should get off the computer n go do h/w soon....blah. although, i did start on some this afternoon n i organized my b-day shit! YAY.

##Jacki##

off_the_map @ 2004-09-25T19:02:00

2004-09-25T23:44:07Z

i'm sooo tired. yesterday i wnet 2 the lockin @ ashley's church. it was fun. we went to celebration station. then came back to the church n played games n watched movies n junk. that was fun. then this morning we got up, picked up, left. i came home n slept til 2 then my mom made me get up and then we went out to lunch @ barolo, then came home. i'm babysittin' my brothers now. the end. lol.

anyways, i am really bored and still tired. yeah, i was so bored b4 that i was going through links on bored.com. lol. but i was reading worst date stories. omg, i love the ones written by like 13 year olds b/c they've been on what? 2 dates...so they know how bad they are? lol. like there was one girl who got pissed b/c her best friend came w/ her n her b/f on a date. the friend then asked her b/f 2 share a drink, so the girl never talked to them again. haha....omg, diego, dont EVER share a drink w/ someone.......yeah right. lol. then i was reading best dates, aw....they were so sweet. made me miss my b/f a bit. but it's ok cuz i think i'll get to see him 2morrow....at his house. yay. lol

//jacki//

off_the_map @ 2004-09-23T22:15:00

2004-09-24T02:17:35Z

i love the yellowjacket....that i drew! hehe

Switch it Up

2004-09-24T00:28:26Z

ok, so i switched up my layout majorly. i think i'm gonna resize the background pic again b/c it's wierd blurry, but toher then that i'm likin' it. actually....i think i'm gonna have to fix the icon to cuz its a bit fuzzy. lol. i used the same pic for the icon n the lil thing by the comments....so it's like super minimized, n super maximized. lol. but w/e. i had fun makin' this b/c it was a set i've wanted to do for a while. i've had bacardi picture urls saved on my yahoo account for like 2 months. lol. so i finally edited some of 'em n got this all set up n shit. yay. lol.

anyways, i'll fix the rest of the stuff later tonight, or tomorrow b/c i don't have the programs i need on this computer. lol.

tell me what y'all think.

<3

happy days......ooo....good show!

2004-09-23T20:13:48Z

Today, out of entirely random curiosity, i went all the way back in my livejournal to a specific entry. Actually, it's my favorite one. The one where i admitted to loving Diego, the one that he read on the night of his birthday. The one. lol. So I read it. I sounded so depressed, but at the same time not, because i had come to terms with reality. i no longer denied it, i just accepted it. and i'm so glad i did. i even laughed at the part when i said "maybe i shouldn't post this" b/c had i not posted it....i wouldn't be this happy right now. amazing how so many things are contingent on one another. that entry was three months old, and i can't even list all the things that have changed in that short amount of time. first of all, i'm with diego now....i wasnt when i wrote that. and you know what, everyday i still feel shocked that the guy i'm hugging, the guy i'm kissing, the guy telling me he loves me, is Diego. but now the shock is more of a "why the hell does HE love ME?" type of thing. but everyday when i hear his voice on the phone, when i wake up to a text message he sent at like midnight telling me good night, the first time i see him in the morning and he gives me a big hug, and when i have lunch with him and he just hugs me and holds me......all these things make my heart flutter and i remember how much i really do love him. i love the way he treats me. sometimes i feel like we've been together forever, we can just sit on the couch and watch tv, or eat dinner with my family. and sometimes i feel like i'm a little kid...we "fight" over stupid shit....or i'll tease him and he'll pull his hand away.....but it's always back in mine to seconds later. and when we're alone, i love just lying next to him on his futon, in silence, knowing that he's thinking about how much he loves me, and i'm thinking about how much i love him. i love that. and i love just everything about him. i love how monday he made a pillow for me w/ his sweatshirt and made sure no one bugged me, so i could sleep at lunch. i love how tonight i almost fell asleep laying on him, b/c i know that in his arms i'm safe. i'll always be safe. that's what i love. i could go on and on. but the number one thing i love is the feeling i get whenever he's on my mind, or near me, or talking to me. i feel like everything bad is gone, the only things that exsist are him and me. that this is never going to end, and i feel happy. truely happy. the kind of happiness a little kid gets when they learn to ride a bike without training wheels....you feel like your free from everything, like your floating away to your own lil heaven. lol.
but yeah, i've been really happy lately. and it's great. i love work....i make decent money for right now, i dont need more b/c all i buy are clothes, food, and earrings. lol. seriously, i ALWAYS buy earrings and shirts when i get tipshare. but not anymore b/c i wont have steffy to come w/ me. *tear* but yeah, i'm glad to be in school b/c i love seeing all these people. i mean i walk to class n i love hearing "hey jacki" and i love being like oh hey to all these random people that i know. and i love when people compliment me. (hey, i'm concieted what can i say?) and the best part is....i get hugs EVERY DAY! lol. yeah....i'm spoiled, concieted....lots a bad shit, but do i give a fuck? nope.

YAY. buh bye fellers

x0x Jacki x0x

off_the_map @ 2004-09-20T05:45:00

2004-09-20T09:59:37Z

this weekend was so/so. i made AWESOME tipshare on friday n saturday (i hope...) cuz we were like UBER busy. then yesterday kinda sucked but w/e.

after work friday i went 2 stefs n we rented you got served (HORRIBLE acting....waste of $5) and wrong turn (very gory, but creepy.......). i couldnt sleep after watchin wrong turn b/c there are no blinds in stef's room yet n i could see the lights from cars going by on the other side of the trees and i thought of the wierd incestuous ppls in the movie. it didnt help that stef FELL ASLEEP AGAIN. i HATE when ppl sleep through movies. unless it was like you got served cuz that sucked. but still.....the only movies i've slept through are the lord of the rings movies, and once i fell asleep during shrek n finding nemo but taht was when we first got the dvds n it was on like 24/7 that whole wkend.....

then saturday i slept in, came home @ like 2 n took a super long shower n shit. chilled. got ready for work. family came n picked me up. went to work. the end.

yesterday b4 work i went shopping w/ my family. i usually HATE shopping w/ my parents. but this was the most successful trip EVER. i got 2 pj bottoms (very cool), comfy sweatpants, khaki colored pants, 1 jeans, 4 long sleeve tshirts, a jacket, 2 sweaters, and everybody got new pillows. lol. and it was all stuff i picked out. and my mom agreed on. WOW!

anyways, diego got a lj, nifty. lol.

i have next wkend off from work.........so0o0o........gimmie a call......i'm sure i'll be busy i gotta chill w/: greg, jordan, probably ashley, definately diego, maybe stef, and i'm sure there's more ppl that i'll off-handedly tell to call me n then our plans will fall through but w/e. lol.

peace fuckers

off_the_map @ 2004-09-18T13:48:00

2004-09-18T17:49:19Z

Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19!
What Pirate do YOU Talk Like?

hehe, tracy it's talk like a pirate day 2morrow.....shiver me timbers! lol. but i'm so the hottest pirate around.....lololol

peace....peas....lol

off_the_map @ 2004-09-16T18:01:00

2004-09-16T22:20:03Z

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	amazing
Your love is...	everlasting

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What do people really think about you? by Raven319
Name
Age
favorite song
Parents think	You're sleeping around
Strangers think	You're hot
Friends think	You need a fuck buddy

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	hair
best personality trait:	people person
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	it depends
when will you get married?	April 24, 2016
your kiss is:	meaningful!
People date you because:	you're cute

Quiz created with MemeGen!

If LJ Was a Bar by Karen_Walker
Username
Bartender	alequa
Bouncer	angelnutmeg16
Dancing Badly	testin_biatch
Playing Pool	__pretty_vacant
Playing Darts	freakyweirdo
Singing Karaoke	nan_nan310
Got in with a Fake ID	givemeskittles
Guy with a Mullet	smo_ho1618
Too Drunk to Stand	xovolcomhottie
Hitting on Everyone	crypticsoul30
Hot Chick	redheadhippie

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you...) by sparkledee
Name
Your Secret Kink Thing	Hotwax in uncomfortableplaces
Your Sexual Strength	Your amazing tongue!!
Your Sexual Weakness	You're stiff & mechanical.
Your Likely STD	You're clean! Hurray for you!
How Many Partners in Crime?	14

Quiz created with MemeGen!

off_the_map @ 2004-09-16T17:41:00

2004-09-16T21:39:42Z

eh....i hate my parents fuckin bitches. tellin' me i can only go 2 diegos from like 7-9. damn. two hours? o yeah, that's fun. and then askin' me why? why do you think fuckers? b/c i'm his fuckin g/f and he wants to spend time w/ me.....der. they reallly piss me off sumtimes. i mean come on, i had today off from skool and didnt do anything b/c i didnt feel like it, n stayed home last night 4 3 reasons: 1. diego had to work late 2. i knew mommy n daddy dearest wouldnt like to go out n give me rides anywhere and 3. i was tired as hell. but 1 and 3 are totally beside the point. (lol) if i dont go out on my extra night, then why restrict me to even less time on the next night??? i mean, its only friday tomorrow. i'm not gonna b doin a lotta skool work. and plus, why not like 10 instead of 9. i mean, i'm @ work til 10 every tuesday n they dont mind. but they mind on a thursday????? wtf. fuckers. lol.

anyways....i'm bored as hell. and i dont wanna do anything that would involve moving. b/c i'm in the laziest mood EVER. like the only reason i was willing to go to the mall w/ stef 2day was b/c i got my $tipshare$ from work and i wanted my fuckin long ass earrings. thats it. otherwise i woulda stayed right here on my ass. lol. til i had 2 go 2 the derm. but dude....it felt so good to sleep in, and i really wish i could skip 2morrow but NOooOooOoo.....cuz i dont have anybody that would come pick me up @ 630 so that we can go chill and just not go 2 skool. cuz we all know jordan wouldnt do that. lol.

peace fuckers

off_the_map @ 2004-09-12T11:40:00

2004-09-12T15:49:49Z

i guess i'm gettin a bit better @ updates. yay. it's b/c i got the power cord for my computer back. lol. anyways, i worked friday and yesterday. i had to close last night. but friday i was supposed to go out w/ richie when i got off. but nooooooo. lol. he was tired so we just talked on the fone. w/e, i didnt really care. but i did get off work before 8 on a friday night. that's like super awesome!!! haha. then last night i FINALLY got to do waitsheet. all by myself. b/c no one bitched. you know why, b/c amanda's gone and they dont wanna ask tracy. lol. so i got to do waitsheet and shila got to do board. which was cool. then lets see.........that was it. we didnt REALLY go on a wait, there were just a bunch of 5/6 tops that we had to make wait. and h/c ppls. cuz u can only put highchairs in certain places. but that was all. and i talked to josh cuz he came in like 3 times. so yeah, while ciji did his order i sat n talked w/ him for a while. then he came back again for some pretty big order that i had to do and we talked again. lol. he's so nice. i hope he starts workin @ trh b/c it's nice when some new hott guy starts workin b/c then it's just one other person to check out. lol. but just looks......nothing more. i love diego. lol. but last night julie was like "are you goin out w/ that tot dude??" and i was like uh....NO. lol. but yeah, i gotta work today......1230 volume. but i think i'll be cut early again. this weekend's been bad. lol. so i dunno. then afterwards greg is supposed to pick me up from work then we're goin 2 stef's house. yay. i get to see the house again. but this time w/ furniture. lol.

the end.

<3me

off_the_map @ 2004-09-10T22:00:00

2004-09-11T02:20:41Z

i was gonna tell all y'all bunches of junk. but i dont really feel like it now. but i do gotta say one lil thing.

i love diego, with all my heart, i love him. i'll love him forever. he makes me feel like the most special person in the world, and i love the way he loves me. just....everything....

his momma's really sweet too. she called me by accident, when she meant to call jake. but when she realized it was me she was like "oooo, hey jacki how are you?" i love diego's momma.

free time

2004-09-08T22:22:47Z

the one thing i no longer have a lot of... not taht i'm complaining. just stating a fact. i dont have time to do pretty much everything i waste my time doing. i really need to get into a groove of coming home an ddoing homework, and THEN making calls checking email, going out...etc...but that would take dedication and (um...i know the word...........) w/e. but yeah, it would be hard. lol. anyways, my last update was last wednesday so i guess i got a bunch to say. lol

um... thursday was boring. i dont really remember it at all....
friday: school, missed my baby cuz he skipped, work @ 430, then when i got off i called up NANCY, and we went to the arbo and chilled b/c we could. it was nice, we walked around n junk, and then we just sat in her car for like ever and just talked about the most random shit. lol. it was nice tho, b/c i've missed nancy bunches, she's definately a role model for me....she has a ton and one admirable qualities. lol. then came home n the end. lol
saturday: went out w/ the family to pick out lighting for the new house, then went to bruesters (sp??) in matthews for ice cream b/c it was ben's bday. lol. then home, then work. i closed so yeah that kinda cut the day short.
sunday: ran errands w/ the family during the day. went uptown and saw mom's friend carla who was down for a wedding so could only see us for a lil while, so we had lunch @ brixx and then walked around for a bit. i love uptown. lol. then went to khols to find something for me to wear to the ring ceremony but there wasn't anything we liked. o well. then on sunday night i went out w/ jordan n jenny. we went to trh for dinner, then we went to stonecrest and wandered around for a while. that was fun b/c we taught jenny new words, and made new stoner friends. lol. then i went back to jordan's and chilled for a while. we had a ton of fun. hehe. went home @ 1000 or so n went to bed.
monday: more family errands, lunch @ trh again. and i'm gona finish this later b/c my mom is home. peace

off_the_map @ 2004-09-02T15:01:00

2004-09-02T19:08:13Z

so it's all level now. right?

my social life....pretty much rox ur sox
my school life....pretty much sux ur nutz

lol. life is bad right now. i failed a chem test today. my parents were bitches last night. that fuckin' sux.

good stuffs tho. my boyfriend definatly rocks my world. lol. i love him so much. *gush, gush, gush* the end. o n i sawed richie yesterday. he's cool so i gave him chewy bars. the end for real.

peace